Housewife Chronicles

Frickin' Caillou

So I'm still getting a ton of hits off the this entry about Caillou and his lack of hair.  Ok - here's the deal.

Nobody really knows why he doesn't have hair.  He just....doesn't.  Oh, and yes, he is whiny, but what four year old isn't?  Oy with the whining.  It never ends.  Even after they graduate high school.  Hell, I was just whining to my Mom about the lack of decent  dress boots at Target recently. Never.  Ending.

And to all of you with the runny pecan pies?  (see above linked entry) - bake the damn pie an extra 10 minutes.  It works every time and caramelizes the sugar in the pie just a little bit.  Easy Peasey.  My Dad who is the pecan pie connoisseur actually prefers it that way.

And the "Hot Housewife Action" freaks that are googling from all over the world?  Get a life!  Stop looking for porn at work and do your job!  Jeez.

Oh, and the folks still getting hits from my site for "Yellow Nose Snot" ... um hello?!  Sinus Infection?  Schlep your butt to the doc-in-a-box and get some Zithr0max pronto.

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Added later at 10: 00  PM

Ann Douglas wrote:

"It's amazing what attracts people to blogs, isn't it. Are you ever tempted to type "hot housewife action" over and over again and then post a picture of a vintage housewife who is a bit overly warm from using the carpet sweeper? ;-)"

Hell yeah I am!  I'm a pretty geeky gal, and I've been keeping a running tab on the strange things people are looking for and end up at my place.

Here are some of the stranger ones:

Jamie smells like arse 
What it’s like to wet your pants
How to be a better housewife
Hot Housewife
don't just be a housewife, act like a housewife
jogging pants
impetigo on chin
yellow snot headaches
“Anne Taintor”
Flu bug
Gastroenteritis, Pumpkin
Forced to wear heels
What’s it like to wet  your pants
sexy housewife personal -guy -date –dating –
TV pictures of boobahs
Winter jogging pants

Housewife with man in bed
Job housewife
Housewife photos
Deep snow fort
Housewife neighbor
Kids like whooping
Immaculate cleaning routine

Yeah...google on m'dears.

Not So Apple Pie Anymore

I remember being a sophomore in High School and virtually failing Algebra (I really don't do well with Math) and my parents constantly harping on the fact that they felt I wasn't applying myself.  The glint in my Dad's eye as he looked at dismal progress reports and it almost looked like he wanted to shake some sense into me.  And I'm sure  on more than one occasion.  My family is not violent, and neither are Steve and I.  We don't punish with force, but do use positive re enforcement when earned and negative when necessary.

But you know, when your kid comes home with two weeks solid very poor behavior reports, his mouth is getting a sassier mouth by the minute, and has started making those oh-so-endearing "Bit-Me" faces at Steve when he is talking to Jamie, I can really understand why my Dad was driven to near shaking.  The teacher says that we are doing everything we can, and what we are doing is correct and to just keep on doing what we are doing, but you know, I am so sick and tired of his little sad face.  Every.  Single.  Day. 

Yes, I know, he has impulse issues, just like every single four and five year old out there.  But you know, the hitting, kicking, biting, poking, throwing ice at windows, pushing and insane arguing is just getting OUT OF HAND.  It doesn't help that there are at least six other boys in his class of 25 that have the same type of personality, so those six are constantly at each other's throat.  Things are getting more and more aggressive and the teacher doesn't seem to be too worried about it, since she keeps on telling us, "That is what K4 if for.  To work out all these little kinks."

We are going back to the little slips of paper type reports, he did so much better when we used that method.  I think we jumped the gun a little too fast.  The teacher and both Steve and I thought a month of good reports was enough to make it a habit for Jamie, but I guess we were wrong.

I speak with his teacher at least once a week, and we e-mail at least 3 times a week.  We just had a conference with her about three weeks ago, and she thinks that this is a result of Steve's grandma dying in December, Steve losing his job, (money stress) Steve being home all day, (yay!  Lots of attention from Daddy)  Steve getting a new job, (Ooo no more attention from Daddy) My Grandma is dying and she isn't going to last long.

So, he is stressed and reacting with bad behavior and aggression.  We really can't win in this situation until he learns how to behave regardless of the stress.  We just have to keep on doing what we are doing.

It just really sucks.  A lot.

Hic!

On Monday, I had the hiccups for about and 45 minutes.  Jamie thought it was the best thing since then he had the excuse to jump out at me from around corners yelling Boo! at me in hopes of scaring the hiccups out of me.  Considering the fact that in typical little kid fashion, I could see his entire body before he would jump out at me, I had to act all scared and then pretend to check my hiccups.  Which were still there.  Good times I tell you, good times.

I ended up having to speak with my grandmother on the phone and she spent the entire time laughing.  Every time I would hiccup, I'd say 'excuse me' and finish what I was saying, which would make her laugh even harder. And then I'd start laughing.   Then Jamie was running around the house singing and she thought it was the greatest thing in the entire world.  I finally had to get off the phone since all the talking, hiccuping and laughing was making me feel like I was going to puke.  Gah.

At least my Grandma and Jamie had a good time.  I heard about the conversation from my Mom the next day.  And then she laughed and laughed.  [sigh]

School Holiday

There is no school tomorrow, and being the bad Mommy that I am, I had  no idea that Jamie didn't have school. I heard it from his teacher when I called her Friday afternoon.   I also don't know why he doesn't have school.  I just checked, it is "Midterm Break."  Just in case the two days that they kids had off in January wasn't enough. 

Jamie having the day off means that we can sleep in until he can't sleep anymore.  (Which roughly translates into 8 am if I am really lucky.)  He is sick yet again, and the teacher mentioned something that he had a runny nose again.  I had to laugh a bit and reply with "No, not again, just a constant cold/cough since September.  I just love school." 

I plan on spending the day doing some catch up on some reading/writing projects from Jamie's school, and my Mom has invited herself over for a visit.  I plan on coercing her to take me to the yarn store for some wool yarn.  Steve started his new job last Monday and we are down to yet again one car.  (Clown Car Update - the brake line snapped when I was backing out of the driveway yesterday and freaked me out!  I had to use the emergency brake and then had to drive it back up the driveway and throw the brake again so I wouldn't hit Steve's truck.  Gah!  Never ending...)

Brain Schnibbles

I have all these little schnibbles of paper with blog post ideas taped/post-it-ed to my computer, and nothing really seems to really grab me this past week.  I just feel so blah.  Blah blah blah.   Mid-winter is so hard. Spring is a long way off around here, so even if the temps hover in the mid 30's to mid 40's, we won't see much of anything besides mud, mud and more mud for at least another three months.

We've had a run of 40 + degree weather with rain for the past couple of days or so.  It's been grey for so long, that the sun came out momentairly yesterday and I was all like "What is that bright light?" and was for a millisecond confused.  It is hard to be cooped up in the house with very cold weather with children, but even moreso when it is almost 50 degrees out and rainy in Wisconsin.  That's almost gettin' nekkid weather!  Let's go outside and play in the cold mud and rain!

I ran errands with Jamie yesterday to a yarn store for some yarn.  Accents on 76th and Morgan for everyone playing at home.  Did you know they are closing their doors in a few weeks?!  Everything is reduced, at least 15% - some stuff 50%. 

Yeah, anyhow, I learned how to knit and I want to do some felting, so if anyone has any kind of experience in knitting, or lives in the metro Milwaukee area or  south-eastern Wisconsin area - let's hook up and knit!  I want to make these, these and possibly some of these.

Lent

Today I went with Steve's cousin E and her two girls to Mass for Ash Wednesday.  The girls were great and thought it was funny as all get out that Mommy and Kari had dirty heads.  It was quite the giggle fest.  The girls are a riot, and very good for Jamie.  Jamie is very good for the two girls as well.  It works out great.  They were very dissapointed however, that Jamie was not coming along.  (I didn't pull him out of school to come with us.)

There was a simple soup and bread luncheon in the parish center afterwards and the girls were very excited to go and eat some soup.  Right in the middle of mass, during a very quiet part, the three year old piped up "Are we going to go and eat soup or what?  Is Father done talking yet?"  It was quite the moment, since we seemed to be surrounded by mostly business men.  I have to say, she gleaned quite a few chuckles and very knowing smiles.

Knitting Fool

My neighbor came over yesterday and taught me how to knit.

Now, I spent an embarrassing amount of time on Saturday  looking at online tutorials and how to videos completely convinced that I could learn this from the rather nice videos. 

I do have the hindrance of being left handed so instead of bastardizing it and doing it backwards, I force myself to learn things right handed.  I do a lot more of yarn holding, pinching and manipulation with my left hand, far more than my neighbor Pam, which we think is because I am left handed.

Anyhow, she came over for 10 minutes and taught me how she casts on - much different than I was doing.  (I taught myself how to do the sling-shot method.)  She also taught me the basic garter stitch.  I practiced for an hour or two, and then got down to the nitty-gritty of starting a scarf.

I am prone to ripping out what I have done when I see a mistake since I don't know how to fix a dropped stitch.  So, after all was said and done, I had a good three inches done.  Three inches that I was very happy with, with no mistakes.

I left my knitting on the couch and went to bed.  Finding myself not being able to sleep, I got up a bit early and figured I work on my scarf.

And it is no where to be found.  That bastard Pickles must have stolen it.  She was mightily interested in what I was doing, but  after I shooed her away for the 285th 10th time, she left things alone.  She was very interested in the needles as well,  wanting to sniff and bite them repeatedly.

I've looked everywhere.  Even in closets in case I stuck it somewhere last night on my way to bed.  It is no where to be found.  This cat steals things and hides with it all the time.  If she thinks she can get away with it, she will do it.  I can't find hide nor hair of either needle or skein of yarn.  I've even looked in the basement, thinking she dragged it down there.  No dice.

This cat I tell you... Worse than a kid!

Mini Update

I'm feeling a bit better today.  I don't have that "I've been run over by a truck" feeling anymore, but a cough has settled in my chest and boy howdy does it hurt!  I sound very weezy as well and kind of hoarse, but the neighborhood dogs don't howl when I talk yet,  so hopefully this will pass on by soon.

Steve got the job that he has been interviewing for.  We got the good news the day I was in bed near comotose all day long.  He will be on first shift for two months and then on third shift.  He also starts on February 14th, and the pay is more than he was making at the last place.  Big Yay! for being generous.

I've also been mucking through my taxes for the T-ware -  which is a headache in its own right.  Thankfully, it is pretty straight forward and the only real hassle is putting everything into excel spread sheets so I don't have to carrry in shoe boxes filled with receipts and minute sized scraps of paper with milleage scribbled on them.

Jamie announced on Sunday that he wants to be called Cameron.  That was from way left field folks.   I think there is a little boy with the name Cameron on his bus.  It is kind of cute, but we had to have the "Your name is Jamie or James, not Cameron.  If you want to pretend your name is Cameron when you are playing, that is fine, but your name is really Jamie."

Fluuuuuu

You know how right before you get the flu and every single bone in your body feels like it weighs at least 50 pounds each and all of your muscles are tight and painful and your head is either pounding or you feel  light-headed?

Yep - feeling like that this morning.

I just can't wait for the kids to go to school so I can crawl back in bed and pass out for five hours.  Heh.